Baby's Growing Up

At first I was hesitant to write on this blog that I am only now stopping nursing when Cannon is 17 months old. People's jaws might drop when they hear that I am still nursing. But then I remembered this blog is about me and my memories and what I want my kids to know and so I am writing it. I stopped nursing Cannon last week and I am sad. So sad about it that I am still pumping "just in case" I need to nurse him again. He hasn't had bottles or formula or even bottles of breast milk. Ever. He wont take them. And it didn't bother me at all. He is a good nurser (Hud was too) and so it wasn't hard for me to nurse Cannon. Don't get me wrong, nursing can be difficult, especially in the beginning when he was eating so often. And sometimes I wished JR could nurse too so that it wasn't always just me to get up. But now Cannon only nursed before sleep (and when he woke up at night) and I totally miss that special time that he and I had and am lucky that it was me and not JR (sorry, Hon). Aside from all the nutritional benefits (and there are soooooooo many) there is a huge comfort for babies to nurse and a special bond between him and I because of it and I feel horrible taking that away from Cannon (he doesn't understand).

At first I continued to nurse because of his allergies (there wasn't a formula or milk that he could have. Well, he could have rice milk but that wasn't as nutritious as breast milk. Oh yeah, and he wouldn't take it so it didn't matter anyways. And his weight has always been low, so cutting out nursing would have cut out a huge portion of his calories). But maybe I just said that it was because of allergies when really I continued to nurse because I just wanted to. It is easy. Way easier than heating a bottle, washing a bottle, sterilizing a bottle, buying formula, or figuring out how to do all those things when leaving the house or away from home. We have saved SOOOO MUCH money because we have never bought formula. Not to mention the health benefits of breast milk which is the original reason I was such a crazy nurser.

With Cannon's allergies, we have tried everything. Everything except cutting out nursing. It is easier for me to watch just his diet than to watch his and mine. So we decided to try to stop nursing. And because JR and I were out of town this weekend, we thought it would be the perfect time to stop. It would give Cannon a few days without it and we thought maybe he would forget. Well, he didn't forget. And I am sad about it. I am sad because it means my baby is growing up.

This is a picture of my last time (actually, there was one more time since he got up in the middle of the night but this is the time I will remember) and I cried my eyes out while I did it.