Control the World

I can control the world. I just realized it recently. I bet a lot of moms can do the same thing. I guess I have always been in control but I just didnt know it until now.

If I want to ensure that my kids sleep better than normal, I tell people that they sleep horribly, and sure enough they will sleep that night. If I wanna ruin a really good streak of sleep in our house, what should I do? Yep, simply tell someone that they are in fact sleeping well. That will guarantee that they get up that night and many nights after.

Cannon scootering around.


Want your kids to get sick? Simply tell someone that they never get sick, and sure enough, within a couple days, they will catch something. But dont worry. You can control it all. If you want them to get better, simply schedule a doctor appointment, pay the copay and they will be fine by the time you get to the doctor's office and tell the doctor about all the symptoms that are no longer there.

And if you want your child to sleep in one day? Make an appointment for 8am. Your kids are ALWAYS up with plenty of time to make such appointment normally, but if you make an appointment and get up and get ready, you will guarantee some time by yourself in the morning while your kids sleep in to the point that you have to wake them (something you absolutely HATE to do since they NEVER sleep in).

Hudon's silly face.


If your kids happen to nap (which Hudson doesn't. But if he is gone and Cannon naps) then a sure way to make them sleep longer is to NOT lie down and catch up on lost sleep. Be careful, because if you do decide to lie down, it will probably be your child's shortest nap ever.

If you want to be prepared for your thirsty toddler to wake at night by putting a sippy cup of water next to his bed then you can guarantee your toddler will not wake to use it. But if you forget that sippy cup one night, then you can guarantee your toddler will wake wanting the water, requiring a middle-of-the-night trip downstairs for the cup.

Want a constipated baby to finally go poop? Go to the store and forget the wipes at home.

Want a picky eater to finally just EAT SOMETHING then go somewhere and forget the snack bag that you ALWAYS have in the car and then listen to the endless screaming that might drive you crazy.

Unfortunately, I discovered this the other day when I said to someone "My kids have never been to the ER." Sure enough, I went to the ER twice in August.

Hudson and I -- our second trip to the ER, 3am.


And then I said to someone else, "My kids have never had anti-biotics." And sure enough, they both got sick and Cannon was prescribed one. Well that got me thinking because those are two very specific instances of control (or anti-control?).

Cannon's silly face.


So, I just discovered that I can control the world. And I am sure you can too. Turns out, it is really quite simple when you are a mom.