Ferber Schmerber. Ok, I cant really throw Ferber under the bus because I never finished the book and never read what he said to do when a baby wakes up in the middle of the night. After talking to some people about him though, I think I was supposed to let Hudson cry himself back to sleep checking on him in the increasing intervals, like I did when I put him to bed. Now, I was ok with the small amount of crying at bedtime because I knew that he was full, tired and had a clean diaper. When he wakes up at 2am, I am not sure of any of those things and I was not comfortable letting him cry without finding out if his needs were met. It is hard to know if a baby is full, tired, in pain from teething and sitting in a clean diaper without picking him up -- so out the window went the Ferber method for me. I was not going to let him cry if he was hungry or wet or teething... I am not sure if it was a fluke that he happened to sleep the first few nights we did it. Somehow though, on night 4 he started waking up and now continues to wake up at 10pm,2am and 5am. He is usually really hungry during one of those times (2am) and usually has a dirty diaper at one of those times (usually 5am, sometimes 2am) and he is probably teething during all of those times. Now I am back to square one. There has to be other ideas out there that fall somewhere between "cry it out" and "mom just has to get up because babies never sleep"... This idea has lead me to Elizabeth Pantley's book called No Cry Sleep Solutions. All my eggs are in this basket right now - I am trying to read as fast as I can.
The other thing I realized during all this is that many people's babies do not sleep through the night during their first year -- in fact, I would say MOST do not sleep through the night. I have read a lot of books recently on this subject and talked to a lot of friends and I think it is the norm to have a baby that doesnt sleep through the night. The book that I mentioned above promises a little more sleep than I am currently getting and that is all I am looking for!!
7 years ago
6 comments:
Nicole,
I think I need to borrow that book when you are done! Scarlett (and Rayson) slept through the night from 3-7 months and then it suddenly ended! I have tried everything with her and now have a 2 1/2 year old that still wakes up in the middle of the night and pitches a fit if she can't have a bottle of milk. (I know, I should have nipped that one in the bud but I caved in so she wouldn't scream till she woke up her brother.) Ugh...I have created a monster! Oh well...at least I have one that is a good sleeper. Good Luck!
Carly Normandin
carlyluckyx2@hotmail.com
There's no such thing as normal or abnormal when it comes to sleeping through the night. And you'll probably find that Hudson will go through phases. With Casey, he'd be sleeping through the night fine, then go through a period of a month or so where he was up every 3-4 hours again. This was usually because he was going through a growth spurt or getting new teeth, though we didn't figure that out for a while.
We did Ferberize Marcie this month (though she's almost 2). When she cries at night, I go in immediately the first time to check on her (no wait), rub her back, tell her I love her, and to put herself back to sleep. Then I start the returning every X minutes. It sucks doing it in the middle of the night and not just bedtime, but I discovered that if I didn't, she was learning to go to sleep just fine, but to wake up more frequently because she was getting rewarded if she did (with my presence because I'd lay down with her because I was so exhausted). That's why I knew I had to do the full-blown Ferberizing.
For what it's worth, we tried the No Cry Sleep Solution with Marcie around a year, and it didn't work for me. I thought it was much harder than the structured Ferber method.
Also, I have learned that parents totally lie about their children's habits-- to their pediatricians, friends, co-workers. When Casey was still on a bottle at 15 months, everyone acted apalled. But now, years later, everyone pretty much admits that their kids were drinking a bottle before bed, too, and they just didn't want to admit it. So sad. . .
Hang in there. Sleep is precious. You and Hudson will figure it out!
Karen in San Diego
http://bsinchina.blogspot.com
Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I used this book with both of my kids, and it offered two choices...a cry it out method, and a more gentle graduated extinction method. And it was the first book to be supportive of BOTH! It's a bit on the clinical side, but it works. Also, remember that if you are still breastfeeding, the baby will take longer to sleep through the night. And I agree with Karen, most parents lie. Neither of my kids slept through the night until they were 8 months old. And by, "through the night," I was not talking about the 5 hours that the pediatrician allows for, I was talking about 7pm to 6am...a period where I would wake up feeling rested for a change. But remember, be more patient of you're breastfeeding, and keep up with that. It's so good for them. Best of luck!
um, we have a 6 year old that doesn't sleep through the night.. so I don't know what lies in store for us with this little man. I never thought I'd be so excited to get 4 hours of sleep in a row at this point!!!
keep us posted with Hud
Hi miss,
There is not normal. I agree with all your friends. Kai has slept though the night since he was 8 weeks old and he's almost 4 months now. BUT he does give me a little cry at 2am once every 2 weeks or so. I just stick a binky in his mouth and go back to bed and let him fuss back to sleep. After reading Carly's message, I can see that it never really goes away.
xoxo,
Cheryl
I am 53 and can't sleep through the night unless I have, like, 3 or 4 martinis. Then I sleep all night but wet myself like Hudson. It does not go over well with Rose. Last time I asked to nurse so I could fall asleep I got a black eye. Can you recommend a book for me and Rose to read so I can go to sleep? Thank you, Uncle T.
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