Last Post About Sleep

I feel that all I talk about is sleep... or lack there of... And even though I know just how important sleep is based on not getting any, I am sick of writing/thinking/talking/reading about sleep. So this is the last sleep post...

Before I stop talking about sleep, I have a bit of sleep advice. I realize that I am probably the last person that should be handing out baby sleep advice seeing as my baby has many sleep issues but 1) things seem to be getting better, 2) I feel I must have learned something during my quest for better sleep, and 3) I have hindsight. Looking back, there is something that I would have done differently and so I thought I should share.

Things are getting better:
We started Ferber again (letting baby fall asleep on his own but checking on him, without picking him up, at increasing intervals). We had some really bad nights and some bad days. I honestly almost went in his room and picked him up so many times. As a mom, you convince yourself that your child needs you when they are crying -- maybe it is his teeth, maybe he has a fever, maybe he hit his head on the crib, maybe he has a poopy diaper...etc. But I didnt give in -- I let him cry in the hopes that he would learn to fall asleep on his own. I kept going in his room to calm him at increasing intervals without picking him up. To say it was hard is a major understatement. Now, I dont like to hear my baby cry... but it got to the point over the past few weeks and months where he was crying at all times of the night and no one was getting any sleep. JR and I realized, sadly, that he was so used to having us pat his back, hold him or nurse him to sleep that he couldnt fall asleep on his own without those aides (and each night, it would take longer and longer to put him to sleep because he knew we would pat him and then leave as soon as he fell asleep - so he would try not to fall asleep in order to get us to stay). I am happy to report that the past couple of nights he slept from 8pm to 5am without waking up. Oh the joy - words cannot describe.

Learned Something:
I started re-reading the Ferber book again and this time, I read an account of a baby with sleep habits identical to Hudson. Baby would fall asleep easily, nursing or with someone patting him on the back. He would sleep good for 3-4 hours and then between midnight and 4am wake up countless number of times. As Hudson started getting up more and more, I just started nursing him each time because I was tired and I knew it would stop the crying and it usually put him back to sleep fairly quickly. As he started to wake more, he realized that if cried he got to nurse. So he woke up more. And more. And more. And then he got to the point where he couldnt go back to sleep on his own if he woke up (and babies wake up all the time at night - so they need to know how to fall back asleep without you).

Hindsight:
Just a couple weeks ago, I told a friend that, if I could go back, I honestly didnt know what I would have done differently for Hudson's sleep. We were putting Hudson to bed awake and he was falling asleep... but in August something changed, he woke more, and I started reacting and created bad habits. Looking back, the week he started to sleep poorly was the week he got two teeth and we were in Big Bear. Both teething and traveling can negatively impact a baby's sleep. So, in hindsight, I shouldnt have reacted by getting up and nursing each time or patting his back each time. I should have suffered through a few bad nights and then got back on track by putting him to bed awake rather then helping him fall asleep each time, night after night, which was just a temporary-quick fix anyway.

Advice:
My advice, which should be taken with a grain of salt since all babies are different and I am clearly no expert, is to put your baby in bed awake (tired, of course, but awake) when they are around 3-4 months as much as you can. I know it is easier to place baby in his crib asleep because no one wants to hear their child cry. But your child will be crying later. And later, your child will be standing up in the crib or walking out of their bed and then it is really hard to change these sleep habits.