Well so I started reading the books and realized I wasnt alone. Something does happen around his age, according to the books: babies around 4 months become aware of their environments. Before this week, we were putting Hudson in his crib when he was already asleep. Usually he had fallen asleep on one of our shoulders, or being rocked to sleep, or while eating, etc. Recently when he would wake in the middle of the night between sleep cycles and was no longer on a shoulder, no longer rocking, no longer eating, he would freak out... The Ferber method compares this situation to when an adult wakes up and his/her pillow is missing. You dont just go back to sleep; you wake up and find your pillow. Hudson was waking up and screaming until we got in there and recreated the situation to which he fell asleep. All this really just means that Hudson did NOT know how to fall asleep on his own. He required our help... which is not good for anyone, especially him.
On Monday I was not really ready to try any method that involed Hudson 'crying it out' so I tried my own method that still involved Hudson being awake when he got in the crib so that he could learn to fall asleep on his own... but I would pick him up each time he cried and calm him down and then place him back in the crib. Well... it went all right... but by night two Hudson had outsmarted my method. When he felt me getting near the crib, getting ready to put him down, he would cry, knowing that I would then soothe him again and not put him down. This went on for awhile until I realized every time I moved toward the crib he cried and he wanted me to hold him until he fell asleep.
Ok, back to square one. So today I bought Dr. Ferber's book to read exactly what this method entails. The Ferber method suggests putting your baby to bed while he/she is awake so that they can put themselves to sleep. The first night the method suggests going in to soothe the baby in intervals starting at 1-3 minutes. Tonight I put him to bed later than usual, as suggested, so that he would be extra tired and then walked out of the room. He was fine for a bit then started to cry. At which point I let him cry for 3 minutes. Now 3 minutes might sound like nothing, but when your baby is crying for 3 minutes and you are just sitting there doing nothing, believe me, it feels like 3 days. But the Ferber method claims to have immediate success -- within a couple days your baby can be putting himself to sleep easily -- and keep in mind I have a video monitor, so I am watching everything he does and I know he is fine. So I let him cry for 3 minutes then went in and soothed him (but did not pick him up). Then I left again. He started to cry a few minutes later and this time I wasnt supposed to go in and soothe for 5 minutes. Again, an eternity... I went in a second time to soothe and could tell he was sooooo tired. I left again (and poured myself a glass of wine to get through this because this could go on all night and I needed to be strong and at least give this an honest go). This time, I was supposed to wait 10 (TEN!!) minutes before going back in (10 minutes was the maximum tonight I would let him cry, though the book suggests gradually making that time longer in upcoming nights.) WELL... GOOD NEWS... I did not have to wait 10 minutes... Hudson fell asleep on his own in just 4 minutes. THANK GOODNESS. Let's keep our fingers crossed that he sleeps longer tonight! At least he wont wake up and be shocked that he is in his crib since that is where he put himself to sleep tonight!
On a side note, Hudson likes to sleep on his face now -- it is really scary for me to see, but I know he strong enough to roll over (though I still constantly check him)... Here is a photo of him sleeping:
2 comments:
Goodluck! My parents tried to get all clever with me too and laughed in their face. Life is too short to sleep, that's my motto! Long live the night!
We Ferberized Casey and are in the process of Ferberizing Marcie (I think of it as "controlled crying). The other night it took me an hour and a half. I started with 5 minute intervals, went to 10, and then finally to 15. At 90 minutes (the second 15 minute interval), she finally went to sleep. In between all that, she cried out for each of us by name, told us she was all done, asked for "help please," clapped her hands repeatedly to try and calm herself, and even picked up shoes and threw them out the door over the gate, hoping that I would come pick them up and put them away (and visit with her in her room). It was downright awful.
The thing is, she doesn't cry for Jason. Or for my mom. She only pitches the fit if I'm in the house. So I know it's a willpower thing.
Even once we get her to put herself to sleep, she still wakes up at 3am and wakes us up. Sigh. It's frustrating.
But hang in there, because once Casey learned to put himself to bed, he was a terrific sleeper (and now he even sleeps through all Marcie's crying and carrying on most nights!).
Karen in San Diego
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